By Greg Williams
When you attempt to conquer a powerful bully In your negotiation, what psychology do you use? At the initial thought of confronting him, are you overwhelmed by fear or are you emboldened with the psychological mindset required to conquer him?
Take note of the following insights in your negotiation to conquer a powerful bully.
Understand the bully’s environment: – (That will lead to understanding his mind and the way he thinks.)
Before you can conquer a bully, you must know how he thinks. Part of understanding that process is knowing as much as possible about the current environment that the bully is in. That encompasses his home, work, and pleasure environments. The fact is, he may be stimulated to act a certain way based on the associates he has in those environments. Thus, if you understand what ‘makes him tick’, you’ll be better prepared to confront him.
Identifying when the perception of bullying is valid:
Another factor you should consider is how the bully perceives the aspect of bullying. Some negotiators are very hard-nosed, others are softer. Thus, the hard-nosed negotiator may not see himself as bullying. Instead, he may see himself as a tough negotiator, while you may be perceiving him as being prickly if not a subset of that word.
If you sense you’re being bullied, address your concerns. In a worst-case scenario, he may tell you that he’s not bullying you at all, or he may tell you that he knows that he’s bullying you and challenge you to do something about it. In either case, you will know exactly what you’re dealing with. You’ll be able to adjust your negotiation efforts from that point.
Why it’s important to understand the mindset of a bully:
As stated above, it’s important to understand the bully’s mindset because that insight will allow you to glimpse his thought process. That insight will lend light to how you can combat the bully and eventually conquer him.
One of the best ways to gain insight into his thought process is to observe how he interacts with others. Note if he cowers before those he perceives as being more powerful than himself. Take note also of those that he emulates; that will enhance your acumen per what he values in a bully. From there, you can create strategies that will confound him, praise him, or act like the bully he emulates, when such is appropriate.
Why it’s important to Understand what a bully fears: (To understand what a bully fears gives a negotiator the ability to pose himself as the object that induces fear in the bully.)
Understanding what a bully fears informs you of the weapons you can use to combat him. Some of those insights can be observed by the body language gestures he exudes during a negotiation. You can also gain insights from his word choices (e.g. using we/us versus I).
The importance of understanding how the bully sees you and why he picks you as a victim:
Most bullies will usually pick on those they perceive as being weak. That’s because bullies want easy targets. Plus, by picking on those that they perceive as being weak, they increase the probability of not incurring wrath for doing so. To prevent yourself from being targeted for bullying, don’t appear to be an easy mark.
As you can see, there’s a lot of psychology that goes into the make-up of a bully’s mind. To negotiate more fervently against him, know how he thinks, don’t appear to be an easy mark, and fight back in some way when confronted by a bully… and everything will be right with the world.
Remember, you’re always negotiating.
What are your thoughts? I’d really like to know. Reach me at Greg@TheMasterNegotiator.com
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