Negotiation Emotions – The Truth To Gaining More Wins

Emotions control negotiations. Thus, when you don’t control emotions in a negotiation, you don’t control the negotiation. Have you considered how to gain more winning negotiations by controlling your emotions and those of the other negotiator? To do so effectively will give you a winning edge in your negotiations.

Understanding the Source of Emotions:

Emotions stem partly from the way we see ourselves and the way others respond to us based on their perception of us. To the degree we get the level of respect that we expect from the opposing negotiator, we’re more willing to engage more openly with her. When the level of respect is not there we engage in a behavior that attempts to sway the other negotiator to abide by the respect we seek. That occurs from both perspectives, what you seek from the opposing negotiator and what she seeks from you. Thus, more infighting will occur over issues that may not be directly related to what’s being negotiated. Instead, and in some cases it will be subliminally, you’ll argue over points more related to your stature or respect being enhanced. Be aware when this is occurring.

Altering Emotions in Negotiations:

If you find yourself in the daunting position of negotiating with a negotiator who seems to be impassive, irritable, and irresponsible, question why such an attitude is being displayed. Question whether that person is seeking to have his emotions assuaged as the result of a perceived slight or some other affront you projected upon him. If you’re unsure as to what you’re perceiving and yet his mannerisms persist, ask him outright about the source of his affectations. Observe his body language as he responds. If he shrugs his shoulders while saying it’s really nothing, note the shrugging as reluctance to him being fully transparent to divulge his true feelings. If he moderates his actions past that point you can assume that he wanted your attentiveness per his actions. From that point, if his actions are more appealing continue the negotiation in an open manner. If his actions revert back to their prior state, repeat the process to get him to open again.

Combating Emotions Used As Ploys:

In some negotiations, negotiators will feign negative emotions. They may do so to disguise their real intent, something akin to misdirection. If you fall prey to their emotional ploy, they may use other such tactics to extract more sympathy or concessions from you. In this case it would behoove you not to address their demeanor. It may even be prudent to display similar actions to indicate that two can play the same game. Doing so also sends a signal that you know what the other negotiator is attempting to do by utilizing such a tactic.

As you can see, emotions can be the cause of a negotiation going smoothly or running amuck. To enhance the probability of winning more of your negotiations, take note of when an emotion begins to change, why it changed, to what degree it might be a ploy, and how you might address the change based on what you seek as the outcome. The better you control that process, the better the position you’ll find yourself in to win more negotiations… and everything will be right with the world.

Remember, you’re always negotiating!

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