by Dr. Claire Hayes, Consultant Clinical Psychologist
A minor leg injury has meant that I have not been able to drive for a few weeks. It has been a revelation to sit in the passenger seat and observe the world differently. I am seeing things that I have never seen before: houses, road signs, lane ways and much more. I am noticing things too. I notice that I miss being in the driving seat and it is taking me a while to adjust. At traffic lights I seem to be urging the car forward or perhaps slowing it down, depending on who is driving beside me. I have discovered that I much prefer being a driver than a passenger but at the moment I have no choice.
So, how does that apply to you in your role as a busy HR Manager? I am presuming that you are busy as I have not yet met one who is not. Have you ever stepped back deliberately to look at things differently? If you are involved in supporting trainees, you may see your work through their eyes for a short period of time. If so, you may have experienced being struck by how much you actually do in a day. Imagine for a moment that you are suddenly moved from your role into an observer role. Someone else is going to do your job for a day, a week or even a month. Your new position is to simply observe. Simply observe, but not passively observe.
What might you notice that could help you in managing stress? Here are some questions that might be helpful:
- Why do other people make contact with the HR Manager and the HR Department?
- How do other people relate to them?
- What do other people want from them and does this depend on their role and/or level in the organisation?
- Is it ever possible for people in HR to say, ‘No’ without offence being taken?
- How is the HR Department perceived by the rest of the organisation?
- What brings great satisfaction to the role of a HR Manager?
- What are the tasks that are physically and/or emotionally draining?
- How does a HR Manger recharge?
Consider your role from three different perspectives. These may be from someone new to the organisation, someone who has been there a number of years and someone who is close to retirement. It could be very interesting for you to meet them individually for a coffee and explore their perceptions of your role and the work you and your Department do. What are their expectations? Have they worked with other HR Managers in other organisations? Was their role the same or different to yours? Have they any suggestions to make to you?
You might notice other things from your position of observer. Are there certain people who automatically push your buttons? Does your heart rate speed up with excitement or anxiety when faced with certain tasks? What causes your stomach to sink, your head to drop, your brain to distract? Who do you trust to get support from? How easy is it for you to ask for, get and use support?
If you were to rate yourself in terms of levels of stress going from 0 to 10, would the rating change according to the day of the week, the time of the day and/or whoever you are working with? What do you do that increases your level of stress? What do you do that reduces it? As you sit back and observe, do you notice that you react to stressors differently than your colleagues seem to do? How often do you rely on sugar, alcohol, affirmation from others and/or other things to help you cope with stress?
In 1988, I carried out research into how other people cope with stress while on a post-graduate student placement in the Irish Management Institute. My research participants were from the following five occupations: teachers, nurses, gardaí, managers and owner managers. My focus was not on which occupation was the most stressful. Instead, I was interested in exploring if people in different occupations coped with stress differently. I remember reading that ‘stress definitions are burgeoning’ and once I understood what that meant, I completely agreed. The vast literature I was looking at contained many definitions of stress and yet none of them helped me understand stress better. I developed my own definition which is an equation. S=s/p+c. Big ‘S’ stands for ‘stress’. Small ‘s’ stands for stressors, the things that cause us stress. Small ‘p’ is perception and small ‘c’ is how we cope with it.
Now, thirty-seven years later, ‘the Stress Definition’© continues to play a huge part in my work in helping people understand and cope with stress. Most of us tend to cope very well for a short time with the big stressors in life and yet can become unreasonably irritated by the tiny hassles of life. It can be good to stop and see things differently, to understand that we may have many stressors to deal with that we are not recognising and to change our perception of these. It can also be good to do more of what is helpful in coping with stress and less of what is not helpful. Deliberately doing all of these can definitely make a huge difference to our ability to manage stress and to get more enjoyment from our work.
Part One of this series looked at the importance of rest and Part Two focused on the benefits of being prepared for stormy weather. If you think that you haven’t time to do either, then it might be time to change your perspective before, like me, you are forced to take a break from the driving seat!
About the author
Dr. Claire Hayes is passionate in the areas of coping, prevention and resilience. Her
interest in helping people cope with stress dates back to research she carried out in
the Irish Management Institute in 1988 on how people cope. Her two Masters
degrees and her PhD expanded on this work, exploring further the areas of stress,
coping, prevention and resilience.
Claire continues to build on her combined forty plus years of training and experience as a clinical psychologist, lecturer, executive coach, author and teacher to help individuals, groups and organisations to understand the particular nature of their stressors and to apply evidence-based psychological principles to help them cope with these. Claire has written widely on how to help people cope with stress and has become a regular contributor to Irish national media including current affairs television and radio programmes and national press. Her fifth book, ‘Enjoy Work: Enjoy Life – A Practical Guide’, which is due to be published in the Spring of 2025, will be an invaluable resource for HR Directors and Managers.
If you are interested in Claire working with you and/or your Company to develop
your resources to manage stress well, you can contact her at [email protected]
